After all of the hype of "Marvin's Room" (by Drake) has finally died down and everybody and their mother got to put out a remix, I figured I'd dig a little deeper into one of the lines that stood out to me from the very first time that I heard the song: "I'm just sayin, you could do better."
(I'm just using these 2 versions because they're my favorites lol)
How often to do you see someone with a person who you think is below their standards (or below what you think they're standards should be?) And I'm not talking about physically incompatible...I'm talking about when you know someone who is amazing. They're ambitious and intelligent. Funny, reliable, and honest. They're the kind of person that you can bring around your friends and have a great time...but respectable enough to introduce to your family. They're the kind of person who's easy to be around (which I think is the quality that gives them so much access to all these people who aren't, in my opinion, really deserving of their time).
This person is the same one who will end up with the girl/guy who isn't as smart and ambitious as they are. In fact, they end up with people who seem to lack many of the great qualities that you would hope any person would possess. It's kind of mind-boggling to me. I understand that opposites may attract but...damn.
Before I go on, let me clarify that I'm not talking about jealousy and haters here. I'm not talking about the scenario when you wanted somebody and they didn't want you, so now you're trying to find everything wrong with their new boo simply because you're a hater. I'm talking about situations like this girl that I know who's working on her PhD and married (yes, MARRIED) a guy who's working on his GED and they're the same age. (And if they had kids, I could see how this could happen, but they don't.) So, it's not just my opinion that she could do better, it's damn near a societal fact. And by no means, am I knocking anyone who has a GED. It's just that the disparity between a GED and PhD is drastic.
So, how do people get into these predicaments where they end up with people who aren't seemingly worthy of their time?
I don't know the answer to that question. There are too many outliers and mitigating factors to come up with a general answer to that. But the most important word in that question is "seemingly".
This whole thing is about perception. If I've looked at someone and thought, "I'm just saying, you could do better"...in my opinion, it either means that I think more highly of you than you do of yourself…OR…I’ve been misinformed about who you really are and what you want out of life and your relationships. I’m just not sure which explanation is more plausible. Either way, it's disappointing...and kind of confusing.
How could a person value certain qualities for his/herself but not value those qualities in their partner? For example, with the PhD/GED couple, she CLEARLY values education and understands it's importance to her career. So how could she MARRY somebody who obviously doesn't value that? And I understand that he could be the best person in world, with or without his GED...but come on.
And how do you tell someone that the person that they're with is a waste of life without sounding like a hater? What is it about these "undeserving" characters that make them good enough for the people that we think so highly of? Maybe the knowledge of self-worth is really the issue here?
It's an interesting topic. I don't think that everyone should be with people who are exactly like them, but people are better together if they can compliment each other. I believe that's true for any type of relationship or friendship.
Or maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe everyone is deserving of whoever they have or don't have. I guess if they really needed more, they'd want more from their partner, right?
I just think that everyone deserves to be in a situation that's mutually beneficial. But if you're not, "I'm just sayin, you could do better."
As always,
Les Is More ;)
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